Mama's Philosophy

Ever since we first expected 尹小小, we already knew, being parents is only a temporary assignment. 尹小小 doesn't belong to us, he is not "created" by us and he is not "ours" but God's. Of course we love him lots and for sure will spoil him, but we want him to have a chance to walk his own path of life. We know it's easier said than done, but somehow, we try to keep this thought in our minds all through the past few months and not to take control in our hands, so far so good, we'll keep reminding each other.

Lately, I've been reading some books about being a new mom and taking care of infants. One step at a time, I think our own mama & baba's philosophy is being shaped. It's really tricky not to do too much, yet not too less, not too tight, yet not too loose, gotta think about how to strike a balance.

Suddenly I realize, it must be tough for our Lord to watch us live thru our ups and downs everyday. He cares so much about us that He wants to protect us every step of the way, yet He still give us the freedom to live our own destiny. Just like our heavenly Lord, as a mama & baba, all we want is to experience life with 尹小小 together, the rest is up to him & Him!

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Good quotes from "First Time Mom" ~ by Dr. Kevin Leman

"Everything changes, forget what you were able to get done before you had a child. Every word must take on a new definition. For instance, the words "clean", "schedule" and "routine" will have to be redefined in the first few months of your new baby's life. In time, a "routine" will only mean you get minimal things done in order to survive. For some of you, this won't be hard; for others of you, it 's going to be a real stretch to learn how to lower your expectations.

Here's why I think it's so important that you do lower your expectations. Your little gift from God could care less about your housework, your need for sleep, or your need to work out at the gym, and your need to see your friends. All the baby cares about is to be warm, comfortable, cuddled, talked-to, fed, and rested. If you try to do everything you did before you had a baby, you may grow resentful toward your child. The problem is not your child - he's acting like all children act! The problem is your belief that bringing a child home won't appreciably change your schedule or your ability to get things done, relax, and play.

In the first 10 days, I want you to bond with your child. You and your husband is his WORLD and he totally depends on you two. This is your time to let the rest of the world run on its own while you simply focus on getting to know each other."

"You needn't worry about damaging your child's psyche by letting him cry. The fact is, babies need to cry. It's healthy for them physically, and until they can speak, it's the easiest way to communicate. When dealing with a very young infant, I think it's best to respond immediately to crying. As the child gets into the first two months of life, though, you need to pull back a little bit.

I say this because in dealing with your baby's cries, you need to find balance. On the one hand, your baby is a hedonistic little sucker who will wrap you around his tiny little finger if you let him. On the other hand, he is completely dependent on you and has a difficult time letting you know exactly what is that he needs. If you comfort your baby every time he grimaces or frowns, you're probably going overboard. If you are hovering over your child, responding to everything he does, you're going to train him that being fussy is the best way to get attention.

You just need to learn that sometimes babies cry for no good reason, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can take it personally whenever your baby is the slightest bit unhappy, as if you could "cure" everything. But you know what? Your husband loves you, but he can't take away your headache, stomachache, or cramps! You can put ointment on your baby's bottom when he gets diaper rash, but there's still going to be some discomfort.

It's unrealistic to think that you can have a baby who is perpetually happy. As long as we live in the real world, there are going to be disappointments, limitations, and occasional hurts and pains. Both babies and moms have to learn how to live with them."